Prośba o sprawdzenie rozprawki z angielskiego.

Lukis171 [ Poznańska Pyra ]

Prośba o sprawdzenie rozprawki z angielskiego.

Czy mogę prosić o sprawdzenie? Nie widzę już czy są błędy czy nie. Z góry dziękuję ;]

1.Coraz mniej młodych ludzi decyduje się na zawarcie małżeństwa przed trzydziestym rokiem życia. Napisz rozprawkę przedstawiającą wady i zalety zakładania rodziny w późniejszym wieku.

Low number of wedding ceremonies has become a sign of our days. Presently, people increasingly don’t decide to raise a family before their thirties. This process has advantages as well as disadvantages.
Firstly, one of the greatest advantages of late marriage is maturity and responsibility of couples. People before thirty are mostly free from being childish. Secondly, they have been already working and have a source of income, which is obviously needed to maintain a family. Finally, quick and thoughtless weddings may be avoided, consequently, raising a family would be sensible and wise.
However some people say that waiting with marriage is unnecessary. As a matter of the fact, it is unhealthy for women to linger with having a baby. Actually danger of children’s handicaps increases in proportion to age of mothers. Apart from this, another disadvantage is risk of upsetting parents’ pressure. It become more and more common that parents often try to accelerate children’s wedding, in order to have clear family status. Thirdly, postponing with marriage may causes dismissal of couple.
In conclusion, deciding to raise a family at a later age has both pros and cons. Probably the better solution is to settle down before thirty but to my mind this is an individual matter.



2. Will traditional school serve its purpose in the future?


The idea of teaching has been known since the earliest centuries of our age. Traditional model of school passed the exam hundreds times. Why can it not be the same in the future? As far as I am concerned, school will definitely serve its purpose at later time.
In order to submit my mindset, I want to shortly present advantages of traditional way of teaching. School is the greatest place of preparation to the future life, at any time. It teach how to behave in a group of people or how to handle with stress. It cannot be superseded by e-learning, which is alleged to be the biggest danger for traditional school.
Another purpose of school is uniting their students. Different way of learning, for example already mentioned e–learning will not stand in for this inimitable feeling of being class and school member. To the best of my knowledge, creating bonds between people will be as important in the future as it is today.
From the other hand, education has already got economic problems, and for all I know it’s rather inevitable in the future. This can be an only fact suggesting that school’s model should be changed. I hope the government is aware of tremendous significance of education.
Taking everything into account, traditional school has really important purpose. I personally think that it is timeless and will work particularly in the future. As was previously stated, I strongly believe that traditional school will serve its purpose.

10.11.2007

12:09

[2]

pr0_gamer [ Konsul ]

Nie czytałem całego tekstu, ale IMHO zdania zaczynające się od "Firstly" "Secondly" etc. powinny być pisane od nowego akapitu.