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tomek@rick [ WuZuDu ]
Do tych co dobrze umieją angielski...
Na zadanie domowe z angielskiego mieliśmy opisac przebieg filmu Troja (do połowy) cze ktoś z was mógłby mi to sprawdzic? Opowiadanie niżej:
3200 years ago in Sparta was a celebration for peace between Troy and Sparta. After that Paris (prince of Troy) grabbed Helen (wife of Agamemnon) and then they escaped. That grabbed was reason of war between Troy and Sparta. There were main commanders: Agamemon, King Argos and Myken, brother of Menalos. Missing was only one warrior Achilles, the result of war depended on him. Achilles went to his mother to ask her if he could fight at war. Mother said: „If you don’t go at war you will have children, beautiful wife, but if you go at war you will die, but your name will be remembered”. Achilles decided to go at war. When Greeks floated Achilles and his 50 men on their ship leaved behind Agamemnon and they first were on a beach. Before Greeks have came, Achilles has occupied coastal temple. When Paris saw Greeks attack, he decided to fight with Agamemnon for Helen. When Agamemnon battered Paris, he hided behind his brother (Hektor). Hektor quickly killed Agamemnon.
Xaar [ Uzależniony od Marysi ]
Naucz sie zastosowania Present Perfect :)
aha... to co poprawilem tez pewnie jest zle, ale mimo wszystko "mniej zle" niz bylo :P
3200 years ago in Sparta (wykasować "was a") celebration for peace between Troy and Sparta took place (taki frejzal :P ...chyba ladniej brzmi). After that, Paris (prince of Troy) grabbed Helen (wife of Agamemnon) and then they have escaped. That escape (tez ladniej brzmi :P) was a reason for war between Troy and Sparta. There were main commanders: Agamemon, King Argos and Myken, brother of Menalos. Missing was only one warrior -Achilles, from which the result of war has depended. Achilles has gone to his mother and asked her if he could fight in war. His mother said: „If you don’t go at war you will have children, beautiful wife, but if you go at war you will die, but your name will be remembered”. Achilles has decided to go on that war. When Greeks were approaching" Achilles and his 50 men on their ship leaved (??? co chciałeś tu napisać?) behind Agamemnon and they were first on a beach. Before Greeks have came, Achilles has occupied coastal temple (nie wiem czy tu nie powinien byc jakis tak past perfect :P). When Paris saw Greeks attack (kiedy zobaczyl ich atak czy kiedy zobaczyl jak atakuja?), he decided to fight with Agamemnon for Helen. When Agamemnon battered (battered? lol? co tu mialo byc?) Paris, he has hidden behind his brother (Hektor). Hektor has quickly killed Agamemnon.
Xaar [ Uzależniony od Marysi ]
poprawka mala :P
3200 years ago in Sparta (wykasować "was a") celebration for peace between Troy and Sparta took place (taki frejzal :P ...chyba ladniej brzmi). After that, Paris (prince of Troy) grabbed Helen (wife of Agamemnon) and then they have escaped. That escape (tez ladniej brzmi :P) was a reason for war between Troy and Sparta. There were main commanders: Agamemon, King Argos and Myken, brother of Menalos. Missing was only one warrior -Achilles, from which the result of war has depended. Achilles has gone to his mother and asked her if he could fight in war. His mother said: „If you don’t go at war you will have children, beautiful wife, but if you go at war you will die, but your name will be remembered”. Achilles has decided to go on that war. When Greeks were approaching Achilles and his 50 men on their ship leaved (??? co chciałeś tu napisać?) behind Agamemnon and they were first on a beach. Before Greeks have came, Achilles has occupied coastal temple (nie wiem czy tu nie powinien byc jakis tak past perfect :P). When Paris saw Greeks attack (kiedy zobaczyl ich atak czy kiedy zobaczyl jak atakuja?), he decided to fight with Agamemnon for Helen. When Agamemnon was battered (battered? lol? co tu mialo byc? i popraw na koncowke -ing) Paris, he hide (tu chyba przesadzilem z tym perfectem:P ...a z hide zrob druga forme, w tej chwili zapomnialem jak sie odmienia) behind his brother (Hektor). Hektor has quickly killed Agamemnon.
Ryslaw [ Patrycjusz ]
xaar ---> Zle radzisz i podajesz bledne przyklady stosowania present perfect. Present Perfect nie stosuje sie do relacjonowania ani do opisywania sytuacji majacych miejsce w scisle okreslonej jednostce czasu.
tomek@rick [ WuZuDu ]
3200 years ago celebration for peace between Troy and Sparta took place in Sparta. After that, Paris (prince of Troy) grabbed Helen (wife of Agamemnon) and then they have escaped. That escape was a reason for war between Troy and Sparta. There were main commanders: Agamemon, King Argos and Myken, brother of Menalos. Missing was only one warrior - Achilles, from which the result of war has depended. Achilles has gone to his mother and asked her if he could fight in war. His mother said: „If you don’t go at war you will have children, beautiful wife, but if you go at war you will die, but your name will be remembered”. Achilles has decided to go on that war. When Greeks were approaching Achilles and his 50 men on their ship leaved behind Agamemnon and they were first on a beach. Before Greeks have came, Achilles has occupied coastal temple. When Paris saw Greeks attack, he decided to fight with Agamemnon for Helen. When Agamemnon was battering Paris, he hid behind his brother (Hektor). Hektor has quickly killed Agamemnon.
Poprawiłem sam jeszcze trochę.
Ryslaw [ Patrycjusz ]
niestety blad na bledzie bledy pogania.
- W tym tekscie ani razu nie powinien byc uzyty czas Present Perfect.
- Do ludzi stosuje sie zaimek zwrotny "who" a nie "which"
- Zamiast "grabbed", lepiej napisac "captured"
- naucz sie stosowac rodzajniki
- po drugiej linijce rozbolaly mnie oczy od nagromadzenia bledow...
tomek@rick [ WuZuDu ]
Czyli co mam zrobic z tym tekstem?
PrzemQ 09 [ Konsul ]
Najlepiej napisz po polsku albo w jezyku plemienia czikawajów... Albo napisz w czasie "Kali chciec jeść".... a tak serio to współczuje :)
tomek@rick [ WuZuDu ]
UP'ik tylko sie pospieszcie bo za 2h musze to oddac....
Xaar [ Uzależniony od Marysi ]
Ryslaw ->to, że pierwszy wyraz jest datą to nie znaczy, że już do końca jest określony czas... IMO present perfect pasuje tu gramatycznie, a do tego ładnie brzmi :)
tomek@rick [ WuZuDu ]
Oddałem to w takiej formie:
3200 years ago celebration for peace between Troy and Sparta took place in Sparta. After that, Paris (prince of Troy) captured Helen (wife of Agamemnon) and then they escaped. That escape was a reason for war between Troy and Sparta. There were main commanders: Agamemon, King Argos and Myken, brother of Menalos. Missing was only one warrior - Achilles, the result of war depended on him. Achilles went to his mother and asked her if he could fight in war. His mother said: „If you don’t go at war you will have children, beautiful wife, but if you go at war you will die, but your name will be remembered”. Achilles decided to go on that war. When Greeks were sailing, Achilles and his 50 men on their ship leaved behind Agamemnon and they were first on a beach. Before Greeks have came, Achilles has occupied coastal temple. When Paris saw Greeks attack, he decided to fight with Agamemnon for Helen. When Agamemnon beat Paris, he hid behind his brother (Hektor). Hektor quickly killed Agamemnon.
PS. Napisze tu później co powiedział nauczyciel :P