Nowe lotnicze dowcipy - po angielsku ;)

Praetor [ Generaďż˝ ]

Nowe lotnicze dowcipy - po angielsku ;)

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which
conveys
to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the
flight that
need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem,
and then
respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action
was
taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never
let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor!
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as
submitted
by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. (
By the
way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.)

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud. (Distance Measuring equipment)
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.
Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

19.09.2003

10:53

[2]

Hellcat [ Legend ]

Coś takiego było w CDA, po polsku nawet :)
[aczkolwiek po angielsku brzmi tak samo :P]